Changes
by galadriel17
Summary: Gojyo's getting married? Hakkai's depressed, & things are about to start falling apart. General hints to GojyoxHakkai in future chapters.


First of all, I'd like to say the thought of Gojyo getting married (especially to someone other than Hakkai XD) is ludicrous. But that being said...I got this idea and I ran with it. I did my best, and if I even make it seem a bit believable than I'll be ecstatic.

* * *

'_How did things come to this?'_

Hakkai wonders as he gazes at the luxurious tuxedo on that all too familiar lanky form of Gojyo's. The tall haired red head was posing in front of a full length mirror, now pulling his long hair up and putting it into a ponytail, waving his hand in front of his face as if to brush away the hot air.

"God this thing is heavy, I'm just glad I won't have it on for long," he says as he turns around smiling and it reaches his crimson eyes. Hakkai could remember a time when he found the color of Gojyo's hair and eyes a bit unsettling. How funny that he eventually decided 'Gojyo red' was good enough, and in his mind he breathed the words with the utmost affection.

'_Gojyo does make a breathtaking imagine all dressed up.'_

The imagine is a bit too much and he smiles, smiles so wide it hurts in an attempt to stop the tears he feels forming, but they come anyway.

A now concerned Gojyo rushes over to him, and pulls Hakkai into his arms. Feeling a bit relived with the comforting presence of Gojyo, he lays his head on the other's shoulder breathing in his unique sent as Gojyo rubs his back soothingly.

And Hakkai wishes that things could go back to the way they were. That he and Gojyo could stay up late playing cards, himself always winning effortlessly. That they could still sit silently together on rainy nights, just feeling eased with the other's company. That he could drag Gojyo along to help him with the shopping, with the only occasional break for Gojyo to stare at some short skirted female before Hakkai asks politely "can you please grab a few of these? It would be a great help." That he could still help nurse Gojyo's hangovers in the morning. That he could feel that strong reassuring gaze, hiding underneath a face of amusement and lazy smiles. How he wished he could have just once more day. One more simple, ordinary, ritual filled day. He wanted to commit it to memory, remember every detail, every miniscule activity and action. To be able to replay it in his head, to rewind it and fast forward to the times that mattered most. _'Some things fade, but memories are always there.'_

Hakkai planned on those. _'When there are pint sized Gojyo's running around, I'll probably get called uncle Hakkai or something of that nature.'_ A nervous smile crossed his face at the thought. And even when things change, he'll still have the memories, the pieces of a life long left behind. Hopes, dreams, feeling that were never allowed to mature the way they could have. He would tell the kids stories about when daddy Gojyo and uncle Hakkai went on a mission to save the world with the renegade priest and the monkey king. He'll leave out the unrequited love story between himself and Gojyo, and the sex-capades of their father when he was still in his 'prime.'

'_Though…it's hard to think of Gojyo not being prime.'_

'…_Listen to yourself Hakkai. Gojyo's happy; he's ready to settle down. It's unbelievable…it's unnatural. It isn't possible…but it's true. And you just have to accept that.'_

"Hakkai," Gojyo said letting go. "You okay?" he asked softly. He chuckled a bit and once again patted his best friend on the back. "Shouldn't I be the one crying?"

Hakkai's eyes lit up at Gojyo's display of humor, they always did. Gojyo held on for dear life as a devastating (yet familiar) wave of affection rushed through his body. Hakkai had always been able to affect him that way.

"I suppose you should be the one crying, after all this will be the last woman you sleep with. Scary thought, right Gojyo?"

For the first time in a long time Gojyo looked uncertain, and it had nothing to do with Hakkai's words.

"This…doesn't feel right. I mean…it feels like something's missing and I can't quite place what it is."

Deep down, Gojyo wasn't sure he wanted to.

"Gojyo," Hakkai reassured, "don't say that. You're just nervous. You'll be a married man soon. Of course you're nervous! Who wouldn't be?" He smiled, albeit a bit miserably, and he hoped Gojyo wouldn't notice.

"Especially someone with you're track record."

Gojyo sighed, and grinned a bit, shaking it off. When he was with Hakkai his uncertainty melted away, so why did he still feel **_weird_**? "You're right. You always are. I can't believe its happening. But…she's…wonderful. And I need someone like her," he said laughing nervously, "to knock me on the side of the head when I get out of line."

Gojyo went back in the dressing room and started peeling his clothes off. That is until Hakkai heard an annoyed grunt and the ruffling of clothing stopped. There was a moment of worried silence and then Gojyo asked, "Hakkai?"

Coming closer to the dressing room, Hakkai answered "yes."

His damn zipper was stuck. Seeing a way to make the situation a little less embarrassing and a bit more amusing he said suggestively with a sly grin "I would like you to help me with a little problem in my pants."

Hakkai's face screamed confusion until he realized what the real problem was with some help from a muffled zipper.

"I'll pass, I don't think you're future wife would care for that," Hakkai answered while rolling his eyes.

Gojyo stood on his toes and peaked out above the top of the door winking, "who said she has to know?"

"Well, as much as I adore flirting with you, I'm supposed to eat lunch with Sanzo and Goku. So I should be going."

A few more next to silent moments and Gojyo was out of the dressing room, his problem fixed.

A seriouis look on his face, Gojyo told him "tell Sanzo he's wanted for the flower girl."

Hakkai's eyes flew unnaturally wide and he bent over laughing, clutching his ribs. Gojyo's lips curled up and his eyes softened.

'_I don't know what I'd do without him,'_ he thought as he walked over to Hakkai and put an arm around the other mans waist before walking him to the door.

The employee stared wide-eyed at them, hand over her mouth. When they disappeared from range she grinned and tilted her eyebrow up. _'Those two sure are cute together.'_

* * *

Sanzo took his cigarette out of his mouth and ground it out on the ashtray. 

"Sanzo, how are you?" Hakkai questioned politely.

Sanzo nodded and replied, "Trying to feed this trash compacter takes up all of my money."

Said trash compacter lifted his head for a second, "Hey Hakkai. What were you up to?"

Hakkai's face lifted into its usual smile. "He was trying on wedding clothes…"

Sanzo grimaced slightly and pulled out a fresh cigarette. _'Tenkai knows I'm going to need it.'_

Goku dropped his fork, making a loud clatter as it hit his plate. "I bet he looked like a dufus." Goku spit out almost angrily.

Sanzo gave Goku a sharp glare, and even though he could almost feel the crack of the paper fan on his head he decided to continue. But before doing so he looked uneasily at Hakkai.

"I don't like her."

"Idiot." Sanzo pressured. "You don't even have a reason to dislike her."

Looking at Sanzo awkwardly he explained, "I know she's nice. She's not like the others. But still…she doesn't belong with Gojyo. It's obvious. I don't know why he doesn't see it."

Sanzo looked at him and pushed "and what do you know about people being 'meant to be' Goku?"

Animatedly Goku leaned forward and said "more than you assume I do. You treat me like a little kid, but I'm not as stupid as you think. I might be able to notice things that you can't."

To Hakkai it seemed like the air between them was almost crackling. Their gazes were so heated that he found it hard to believe that they weren't both off in their own world thinking about something that maybe had not even came to the surface yet that was just waiting to be brought up.

'_Best to leave this alone. I don't want to step into something that's not my place.'_

He was relived when there was a tap on his shoulder until he turned around to find the uneasy face of Minamo looking back at him.

"Oh" he said nodding to her, "hello Miss Minamo. How are you?"

Her pretty features seemed to fade to a gloomy expression. She didn't know how to answer his question. "Mr. Hakkai...may I talk to you? Privately."

_'She deserves me being...more than this. If I didn't feel so awkward...knowing that she's marrying my best friend...the one that I've loved for so long...this would be very different.'_

"Certainly," he answered and placed a comforting hand on her back as he led them to a quiet and unoccupied room.

* * *

Hakkai made a move to sit down, but Minamo immediately started pacing the area so he stood with his hands clasped in front of him. 

"Gojyo…he talks about you all the time, you know that?" She started hesitantly.

Smiling faintly, Hakkai turned his head a little, trying not to reveal that his eyes were pained by the words.

"Do you remember…at the beginning Hakkai?" She asked keenly, and she moved a little closer, taking a seat now and looking up at him.

"I didn't want to give Gojyo much of a chance at first," she said laughing.

Her gaze turned melancholy again. "And it's not why most people would think. It's not that I didn't take him seriously. Even with his reputation, even with his past I was willing to give it a try. Even if I thought at first that I might turn into another girl he left behind…I couldn't have lived with myself if I didn't try. That wasn't it at all."

Hakkai watched her intensely, he knew she was going somewhere with this, but he had no idea exactly where. Seeing her so distraught was upsetting. Minamo was a kind, caring, gracious person. For her to be so upset something must really be out of place.

She looked tearful but pressed on, determined to say what she had come to.

"I don't think I can marry Gojyo," and as she said the words she sounded as she could crumble.

Even in absolute shock Hakkai moved forward leaning before her and took her hands in his. "Why? What could be so wrong?"

All of Gojyo's plans, all of the events that had transpired were falling apart in front of him and he had no idea why.

"Some things…are pretty obvious you know?" She said but it sounded like she needed assurance so Hakkai nodded his head in answer.

"I…I…," her voice was cracking again, "I could tell that Gojyo was in love when I first meet him."

And it seemed like the words were acid burning through & through.

"There was just something about him…the way he moved, the way he talked…the way he was. Everything about him…the way he would gaze off and not say anything, swept in his own memories. The way he would look fondly at things, like they had some special memory attached to them. I don't know…I could just tell."

And even though the words weren't complicated, and the meaning was comprehended he just couldn't believe them. Gojyo didn't have anyone like that…

"He would mention this friend all the time. And it seemed like…like they were everything to Gojyo. You have to understand…I didn't know you at the time…he took his time introducing us and…"

Hakkai's mouth opened in a stupor. He didn't even notice he was trying to start telling her how preposterous her words were.

Lifting her hand she said weakly, "let me finish…please."

He nodded once again looking down.

"I knew it was you. Later it just…it clicked."

Tears started rolling down her face but she continued.

"I always wanted someone to just love me…love me for me. For who I am." She was trying hard to breathe properly, but it was hard.

"Believe me; I love Gojyo with every bit of my heart. But…how can I marry him when he doesn't love me."

Hakkai moved to talk but she continued "I thought Gojyo loved me but…I realize now. He loves me for you."

It was like all of Hakkai's bones just ceased to be for a moment and he slumped back on the floor looking back at her in disbelief.

She pulled a tissue out of her pocket and went on. "Don't you see? My personality…the way I am…it's so similar to you that he was attracted to it…and he couldn't stay away. It's…it's easier if he picks someone new so he can start over again with them…so he doesn't have a chance of messing up something that's been there for so long. I'm…I'm just a replacement for you. And…" she was smiling sadly now.

"The worst part is that I can't hate him for it. I can't…because I know he doesn't realize what he's doing. I know…he isn't trying to hurt me. Do you know what that's like?"

And Hakkai had never felt so confused, distrusting, and miserable in his whole life. His eyes turned disheartened, "Actually...I kind of do."

* * *

Author's notes: Well…yeah. I tried. I am hoping to not be evil and finish this, I just need some time to think up some good ideas. Speaking of good ideas, if anyone is reading this that is also following "A little heart to heart" (stupid title urg) I'm still thinking up ideas for the ending but I'll get to it ASAP. And if you did enjoy this story…be a sweetie & leave me a review. They make my day. Thanks for reading! 


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